Sandwich Receives Oral Sex From Area Man
Hamburg, NY (AP)
A local resident was caught trying to fellate an Italian sausage hoagie over the weekend.
Tim Somerset, pictured with the victim, plead guilty to the charge of forcible assault.
"It was awful, I mean, one minute I'm chillin'(sic) on a plate next to the grill and this perv picks me up and...(sobs)..it's just so humiliating." The sandwich requested that his name be withheld from this article. "I've got a wife and kids. What would my daughter say?"
Somerset was "taking a semester off" from SUNY New Paltz, working at his father's office supply store. This is far from his first offense in inanimate object sexual violations. Last spring he was cited for making his little brother's GI Joe figurines perform a '69' on each other and in November of 2001 his father came home early from work to find his son attempting to penetrate couch cushions for sexual pleasure. The latter offence earned him two weeks of shameful looks from his parents.
A local resident was caught trying to fellate an Italian sausage hoagie over the weekend.
Tim Somerset, pictured with the victim, plead guilty to the charge of forcible assault.
"It was awful, I mean, one minute I'm chillin'(sic) on a plate next to the grill and this perv picks me up and...(sobs)..it's just so humiliating." The sandwich requested that his name be withheld from this article. "I've got a wife and kids. What would my daughter say?"
Somerset was "taking a semester off" from SUNY New Paltz, working at his father's office supply store. This is far from his first offense in inanimate object sexual violations. Last spring he was cited for making his little brother's GI Joe figurines perform a '69' on each other and in November of 2001 his father came home early from work to find his son attempting to penetrate couch cushions for sexual pleasure. The latter offence earned him two weeks of shameful looks from his parents.
posted by Brooks at 2/07/2005
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