Historic Sorority Vote Finds That Poor People Are Ugly
The Wake Forest University chapter of the Delta Zeta sorority confirmed by a 33-1-1 vote that poor people are uglier than those with money.
Although the vote was nearly unanimous, "We did lots of super scientific testing to confirm our judgement," says Chapter VP Wendy Hornsworth. "I sent the pledges to the parking deck to see who was driving either cars older than 2003 or American cars."
Junior Melanie Waddington was dispatched to the Financial Aid office for secondary proof. "It was like so gross. I had no idea how many poor people were ugly. I'm talking about generic jeans."
The lone dissenting vote came from Sophomore Beth Huddler, described by Hornsworth as, "suspect herself. She's only here for numbers and because she's a legacy and National said we had to take her or else we'd be disqualified from Derby Days." The abstained vote was for Valerie Burns, who is 'taking some time for herself' in Marseilles.
Although the vote was nearly unanimous, "We did lots of super scientific testing to confirm our judgement," says Chapter VP Wendy Hornsworth. "I sent the pledges to the parking deck to see who was driving either cars older than 2003 or American cars."
Junior Melanie Waddington was dispatched to the Financial Aid office for secondary proof. "It was like so gross. I had no idea how many poor people were ugly. I'm talking about generic jeans."
The lone dissenting vote came from Sophomore Beth Huddler, described by Hornsworth as, "suspect herself. She's only here for numbers and because she's a legacy and National said we had to take her or else we'd be disqualified from Derby Days." The abstained vote was for Valerie Burns, who is 'taking some time for herself' in Marseilles.
posted by Brooks at 3/01/2005
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