America's Most Powerful Working Girl Gets The Boot

"Buy 1 hour and the 2nd is half off"

Carly Fiorina, pictured here starting her new job, was given notice by "magic box under my desk" maker HP.

Pushed for an answer as to why the board of directors sent the CEO packing, CFO and now interim CEO Robert Wayman said, "Every March she comes prancing into my office with her daughter's Girl Scout Cookie order form, and she'll stand there until you buy something. So this year we got smart and executed a brilliant preemptive strike."

Added Vyomesh Joshi, HP's head of printing and imaging, "I've still got two goddamn boxes of Caramel De-Lites from last year."

According to inside sources, HP Director Patricia Dunn will be the next skirt on the chopping block due to an ever-present need for coworkers to sponsor her for AIDS Walk-a-thons and such.

Fiorina managed to steal $21,000,000 worth of office supplies before being escorted out the freight dock with the rest of yesterday's trash.

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