Pope Discharged From Hospital; Already Misses the Jell-O
The Pope, pictured here visiting the Fantasy Football convention in Las Vegas last month, was released from the hospital where he was treated for a respiratory ailment. Doctors, fearing the Eternal Damnation promised by the Pope's handlers, worked round the clock to get the Pontiff back in shape for NASCAR season.
"There is just over a week until he's scheduled to wave the green flag at Daytona," said Bernie Grulman, His Holiness' agent. "We can't afford to miss that kind of exposure."
While the Pope himself declined to comment, sources insdide his "exempt-from-Earthly-laws" palace said that the Pope is "eager to get back to breathing again. He wants to do some light shopping and he doesn't want to reschedule his charity match with tennis star Andy Roddick."
NASCAR officials are eagerly awaiting the Papal return to the impoverished Southeastern region where his T-shirt sales are in a solid tie for second place with Robby Gordon. On his chances of catching Dale Jr, one insider was blunt: "Not a chance in Heaven. Or Darlington."
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"There is just over a week until he's scheduled to wave the green flag at Daytona," said Bernie Grulman, His Holiness' agent. "We can't afford to miss that kind of exposure."
While the Pope himself declined to comment, sources insdide his "exempt-from-Earthly-laws" palace said that the Pope is "eager to get back to breathing again. He wants to do some light shopping and he doesn't want to reschedule his charity match with tennis star Andy Roddick."
NASCAR officials are eagerly awaiting the Papal return to the impoverished Southeastern region where his T-shirt sales are in a solid tie for second place with Robby Gordon. On his chances of catching Dale Jr, one insider was blunt: "Not a chance in Heaven. Or Darlington."
Real Story
posted by Brooks at 2/10/2005
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