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Ronald McDonald's Half Sister Found Alive!

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Ten years after being abducted by the Hamburglar, Rhona McDonald, pictured here, came out of hiding to tell her harrowing tale of torture and abuse.

"He snatched me right out of my bed, with my parents sleeping in the next room. He locked me in a spare room and only fed me Burger King fish sandwiches. It was awful."

Ms. McDonald also implicated the Fry Guys and Grimace as conspirators in the plot. "They would come over and laugh at me, rolling all over the apartment. And Grimace, that fat fuck traitor...he was the worst."

After escaping her captors in 2002, Rhona went into hiding, fearful of retribution.

Asked about the allegations, the Hamburglar said "Lies. All lies. She came to me. We were in love. Robble-robble."

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