Ribbon Makers Release 2Q Earnings Forecast
RibbonTek, the nation's leading producer of magnetic ribbons, projected a rosy forecast for second quarter earnings. The company, located in Parsippany NJ, employees 144 people in design, production, testing, packing, and front office.
"We can shoot out upwards of forty thousand of these puppies a day," claims CEO Clint Mavry, former owner/operator of LawnTek Landscaping. "There are ribbons for every cause imaginable, even obscure diseases like breast cancer. And we think up new ones every day." He later added, "new ribbons, not new diseases."
To date, RibbonTek has manufactured close to 110 million magnetic ribbons. When queried about the finite number of cars on the road, Mavry countered by pointing out the size of the average vehicle is increasing faster than ever. "Have you seen the Nissan Pathfinder Armada? One of them could keep us busy for weeks."
Asked about the "fad" quality of the ribbons, Mavry responded "This bubble ain't never gonna burst. I'm hiring an office masseuse."
Wall Street reacted to the RibbonTek news as expected: "What the fuck is RibbonTek?"
"We can shoot out upwards of forty thousand of these puppies a day," claims CEO Clint Mavry, former owner/operator of LawnTek Landscaping. "There are ribbons for every cause imaginable, even obscure diseases like breast cancer. And we think up new ones every day." He later added, "new ribbons, not new diseases."
To date, RibbonTek has manufactured close to 110 million magnetic ribbons. When queried about the finite number of cars on the road, Mavry countered by pointing out the size of the average vehicle is increasing faster than ever. "Have you seen the Nissan Pathfinder Armada? One of them could keep us busy for weeks."
Asked about the "fad" quality of the ribbons, Mavry responded "This bubble ain't never gonna burst. I'm hiring an office masseuse."
Wall Street reacted to the RibbonTek news as expected: "What the fuck is RibbonTek?"
posted by Brooks at 2/11/2005
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